29
OCT
2007
While watching the Red Sox tear through the World Series, Coors aired their commercials promoting their new slogan: The Banquet Beer.
Can I get a big what the fuck? What the fuck is a banquet beer?
What the fuck is a ‘Banquet Beer’?
In order to define this, let’s break it down into the two component words.
Banquet
A banquet is a large public meal or feast, complete with main courses and desserts. It usually serves a purpose, such as a charitable gathering, a ceremony, or a celebration. Sometimes a banquet consists of only desserts, but it is advisable to include main courses as well. (Source: Wikipedia)
Beer
Beer is the world’s oldest and most popular alcoholic beverage. (Source: Wikipedia) (Not Coors)
Banquets are for pussies
They are neither happy, nor drinking coors.
When you hear the word banquet you inevitably think of a bunch of free food for some cause that you usually don’t care about. Banquets are rarely fun. If you get drunk at a banquet you’ll probably get those stares that are only otherwise given to convicted child molesters.
If you are a beer that is trying to compete with Budweiser and other degenerate beers, you should embrace your audience rather than shun them. If you drink Coors you most likely: have defective taste buds, are in college, or have no other choice. By embracing the banquet audience, you are basically embracing a niche that nobody really cares about nor is enthusiastic about. FUCK YEAH GUYS, LETS HIT UP THE RED CROSS BANQUET AT THE HILTON!
Coors is a good solution for throwing massive parties where it’s inefficient and pointless to buy large quantities of superior beer. You should embrace that audience.
The only way that Coors should be involved in banquets is if it was a Banquet of the Gods:
Now that’s a party
PROPER SLOGAN: Coors - Low Cost, Low Class
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October 30th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Funny you should mention this, because I happened to notice the “new” slogan on a nicely redesigned Coors truck last week. And I had the same thought: What the heck’s a banquet beer? But wait a minute — that slogan’s not new. Coors has been using the “banquet beer” slogan a long time. I haven’t done a pixel of Google research yet, but my memory tells me that’s the case. I assume they’re just moving the slogan into greater prominence. Why? Because it alludes to a long tradition of beer brewing (well, if you consider Coors “brewing”), and it’s distinctive. And it alludes to the consumption of large quantities in a respectful way. “Banquet beer” must have been imbued with meaning back in the mists of time — maybe someone can fill in the details of its origins.
October 30th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
I checked Coors’ site — turns out the Banquet Beer slogan was added in 1936. Conveniently for Coors in 2007, “banquet” was Colorado miner slang for “big drinking party.” Banquets, apparently, used to be fun (if a bunch of drunk, dirty, smelly miners run amuck is your idea of fun).