Perhaps the most celebrated retort in the history of wit occurred in a famous exchange between two 18th century political rivals, John Montagu, also known as the Earl of Sandwich, and the reformist politician, John Wilkes. During a heated argument, Montagu scowled at Wilkes and said derisively, “Upon my soul, Wilkes, I don’t know whether you’ll die upon the gallows, or of syphilis” (some versions of the story say “a vile disease” and others “the pox”). Unfazed, Wilkes came back with what many people regard as the greatest retort of all time:

“That will depend, my Lord, on whether I embrace your principles, or your mistress.”

You can read many more of these gems here at History’s Greatest Replies.

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